Summer is over and so is the lull, for a bit now too. I think it is like it was in Arizona – too hot to work, to shoot, to film. It still is like this in some was. In others we are like sharks – never stop moving. In particular this holds true to the Indy movements. If we’re smart we are working on several projects at the same time; always something on the burner. And I like it this way. Life in fast-forward rather than in slo-mo. Though in truth it’s nice to know when you can safely take off without having to worry about being called back for an audition, casting or meeting. The traditional “seasons” for the film industry have melded together a bit, and most likely more in the future. (From herein the term “Industry” refers to the film & modeling & even marketing so far as the last one refers to modeling and film/video -NOT the porn industry, no matter how funny that joke is).
Now on to the interesting mélange.
I am exhausted. Pooped, tired, toast, heading for the land of nod, DJ Pillow will be rocking my world. The warning to me was always “life got in the way” of a career in Hollywood. And I’ve managed to bar this for the past 10 years. Now I am married, and as hard as I try not to veer off course, well… life is getting in the way. Le sigh.
It’s 10:11pm and I’ve finally torn myself away from my desk, kissed my husband goodnight, and got to this blog (am I still working?). Most of the time I’m multi-tasking: laundry while working on any facet of my numerous projects, cleaning while on phone meetings, ah hell you get the idea.
Look here’s the thing. If you want to be an artist or even run your own business you have to hustle, and hustle your brains out. That means being über flexible, going from PJs to out the door in full get-up in 30 minutes flat on no notice, it even means finding that right mixture of self-care. My dad always said that you either work 40 hours for someone else or 80 hours for yourself. He also used to describe it as being up to his ass in alligators; I’m starting to understand why.
We have to hustle to survive, pretty much at any level. It’s not always pretty. And I can’t always talk about what I’m doing, working on, trying to do or want to do. Then try to social media about it so that I appear like I’m a busy person who is actually pursued by those who are hiring. Gotta get my name out. Hell we all want to be important. And if I can’t vent my frustration here… well therapists never starve in Hollywood.
And when I tell you what my cohorts and I have come up with some very inventive, crazy, even devious ways to get people’s attentions I could die laughing, especially back in the beginning. Like the time I gift-wrapped my headshot and cover letter in a box with a bow on top and dropped them off at agents’ offices. Or the custom wrapper a friend of mine made (very artfully I might add) and rewrapped chocolate bars. Of course there were also the outright brazen lies that were told to get in to see people; some successful, some requiring an escort out of the lot (not me of course, upon my honor).
Admittedly, my brand of hustle is a little bit like a hurricane. If I’m lucky I’ll be in the eye of it where it’s calm and I can see what’s going on without getting caught up in some sort of madness. Not the best I know, but chaos works for me. Organized chaos anyway. And what I don’t know how to do I have friends and associates that can help me as I can help them. If we’re smart we pull each other up the ladder when we can. Kind of like a reverse Barrel of Monkies if you can picture it. Scheduling is also my friend. I mean I schedule my desk work from my meditation from my auditions and meetings. I need my sanity inside my chaos too.
No matter who we are in this industry there are times when we feel like we are frauds. But that, my friends, is a fucking load of bullshit – and you remember that I said it.
Just keep on swimming. – Dori